The Other Woman Part 2

"Did you really think, I'd just forgive and forget, no

After catching you with her

Your blood should run cold, so cold

You, you two-timing, cheap-lying, wannabe

You're a fool, if you thought that I'd just let this go

I see red, red, oh red

A gun to your head, head, to your head

Now all I see is red, red, red"

"I See Red' by Everybody Loves an Outlaw

Saturday 2 a.m.

I am awake in bed alone and waiting.

Clink clink.

Here comes the noise again. I have been listening to the noise since 10 p.m. It is getting less frequent now. The peak time for getting home in this part of town is apparently around midnight.

Where is he?

Metal plates cover the drains on the slope coming up to the building. Cars that go up the driveway make noises when the wheels hit the plates. I got accustomed to the noise in the past four hours. Clink. The front wheels, then 2 seconds later, the back wheels. If it is a taxi, another set of noise will come approximately 30 seconds later. If there is no noise, then it is the residents' cars.

His phone has been off since 10 p.m. It goes straight to the answer phone.

What is he doing?

Clink clink 30 seconds clink clink.

It is a taxi! Would it be him? My heart starts pounding, beating hard and fast against my chest. My breathing quickens. My mind is counting now: ok, he is by the lift; the lift goes up to the 4th floor and now the key turns in the front door lock…

Nothing, the front door lock has not turned. Maybe the lift has gone up to the 20th floor and he is waiting. A minute passed, another minute, and another minute and another minute. No matter how hard I try to listen in the deafening silence, the key has not turned the door lock.

A deep sense of disappointment comes over like a tidal wave suffocating the pounding heart. I die a little. Bits of me died since 10 p.m. tonight. How much have I got left?

His phone comes back on around 8 a.m. He is on his way back.

His explanation is pathetic. Our son lies better than that. I am angry because I KNOW he is up to no good. I am MAD because he thinks I am an idiot. I am a housewife with no career to my name, only stretch marks on my belly and wrinkles on my face. Admittedly, I am nothing like his high-flying female colleagues. But I am not stupid.

But I am stupid. I never thought he would risk everything.

The lock finally turns at the front door.

"Sorry, I only noticed I lost my phone on my way back home. It took me all night to retrace my footsteps, back to all the places I had been and look! I found it. I am so lucky."

His voice trails behind him and bam! The bathroom door slammed shut and the shower came on.

I go through his phone.

I am stupid. It is some slut he works with.

He even invited her to our place for the Christmas party he put out for his team last year. I was a seeing blind.

He kept all the text messages. Does he want to get found out? I must keep calm. If he wants me to make the first move to break this off, I am not going to give him the satisfaction.

Breathe, breathe…

Sunday 2 p.m.

"Mommy, you ok? Your eyes are all red…and you look…tired."

"I am ok, honey. Just didn't sleep well."

He is on his phone again in his usual armchair. He is so engrossed in his texts, that he does not hear one word of the conversation. It is picture-perfect. If I take a picture of him sitting in the lazy afternoon sunlight and put it on Facebook, I would caption it serene Sunday afternoon, #happyfamily.

Tuesday 3 a.m.

I have not slept a wink. Sleep has escaped me.

Wednesday 2.30 p.m.

I remember her numbers by heart.

Thursday 2 a.m.

I dial the numbers. The phone rings.  She answers. A sleepy hello comes through as expected. The whole world is asleep and I am thinking of you. I am in complete self-control. There are a thousand things I could have said to her. But no. Nothing. I say nothing. This is restraint.

Sunday 2.01 a.m.

You are always on my mind. Dialing the numbers in the small hours of the morning has become the only thing I look forward to in my days. When I cannot sleep, she cannot sleep either. We share the same man; why not insomnia too? This is sharing.

Monday 2.15 a.m.

Calling at the same time every night would be no fun. Let her guess. Make her jump. Keep her on her toes. This time I stay on the phone a bit longer, about 10 seconds.  She puts the phone down first. I win. This is willpower.

Wednesday 4 p.m.

She is a lot more thick-skinned than I thought. She said not one word. Always put the phone down quietly. Shameless bitch. Desperate time calls for desperate measures. This is strategy.

Wednesday 8 p.m.

I hold the letter in my hands like carrying a bomb. It will be when she receives it. I walk down the street and put the letter bomb in the letter box. I used to send him letters back in the days before emails and text messages. Things were simple then. I was innocent. This is a growing pain.

Now I sit back and watch it explode.

#adayinthejungle #cheating #cannotsleep #waiting