“Choose a partner that you can go to war with.” Ancient proverb Part 2/5

"Juice from eight fresh limes, minced garlic, chopped coriander and sugar. Don't let the flesh of the limes get into the sauce. It will make the sauce bitter." Auntie Sin is making the sauce to go with the Hainanese chicken rice. It is to die for. Isn't it amazing that all Chinese mothers who are over the age of 70 know how to cook? For our generation, we have air fryers, ready meals and Deliveroo's apps. One of my closest friends is a career woman, financially independent, high-flying job, presentable and well-spoken, well-travelled, middle-aged and single (I would have thought she has everything a man would want in a woman, but…hey ho what do I know!), in other words a leftover woman (a term coined in China/Hong Kong for exactly that – leftover that no man wants, not in a relationship) would say jokingly, I think she is actually serious, that the air fryer is her best boyfriend. Why? Because he is always there for you, stands still, always does what he is being told, is reliable, doesn't give you problems (like making you fat) and never cheats. We laughed so hard that we had tears in our eyes. How the world has changed. Or how women have changed.

Staring out of Mona's kitchen windows into the courtyard, I am waiting to be fed. Momentarily zoned out of the mindless banter of these old overseas brides watching the trees outside move. The kitchen windows are steaming up now. The food is almost ready. Mother nature gives you answers. All you need to do is look. Do you know wood that grows in the spring and early summer gives you light-coloured rings and the dark rings are the wood that grows in the late summer and fall? One light ring and one dark ring give you one year of the tree's life. Things taught at kindergarten that no one remembers after the age of ten. But the same stuff that gets you to the best schools and universities, ready for lifelong corporate slavery, just to pay off the student loan and the mortgage, only then do you find out you have not crossed out ONE thing in your bucket list and highly unlikely you will either because now you are old, tired, weak in the knees and everything is so damn expensive when you are on a pension. Anyway. The rings on a tree trunk tell you how long the tree has been around and what kind of seasons it has. The lines on Mona's face tell you what kind of life she has.

"My experience is similar, Ah Ling. The only difference is I did divorce." Mona murmured with a mouth full of lotus leaf rice dropping bits and pieces onto her yellowish white jumper. I stare at the food left on her chest. Should I help her remove it?  Does she know?

"You did?  You were stupid!" Old grandmas can be so direct, rude even. They have earned the attitude with age. They do not care now, approaching death, closer by the day. That's why they jump queues in supermarkets, demand your seats on buses, and burp out loud and fart in public just to annoy the young. I can foresee myself becoming that – and keeping twenty cats in a flat, head to toes covered in cats' hair and smell of their pee. I would be very proud of that.

"Ah Wong said it was to help the poor girl. You see, she has not got citizenship in this country. She can only work illegally in takeaways in Chinatown.  Poor girl. I pity her he said. I feel sorry for her he said. Why don't we divorce, I pretend to marry her, you know, on paper only and get her the citizenship here he said. We are just being kind-hearted. We are all Chinese and we help each other he said."

"What a bloody lie! And you believed him?" "Seriously?  Such cheeks!" "Bloody liar!" We are all huffing and puffing now. "Where is the justice? There is no justice in this world. I curse them till the day they die!"

"All in the past now. I did sign the divorce paper and I found out after that they were having an affair. We had a huge row and got into a fight! See just right there!  By the kitchen." Mona points at the kitchen door. "I pushed him and he pushed back, I fell onto the floor…" Mona chuckled embarrassingly.

"I said nothing when I found out Kam and That Woman having an affair. I kept my mouth shut and pretended nothing had happened. I tolerated it. I put up with it. I endured it. Why? I had no choice. We have four children. What would happen to them if we divorced? I borrowed money from my mother so that he could buy half of the restaurant on King's Road. If we divorce, how am I paying my mother back? I couldn't sleep at night. I couldn't. Night after night. I went out to the park by our apartment, sat on the bench and cried in the middle of the night. Everything was twisted inside, like the long-sleeved t-shirt you take out from the washing machine…like the vortex in the rough sea. My stomach. Oh, my stomach. An invisible hand was squeezing my stomach, punching my belly. On the pain! The pain. My heart is in shreds. How could he? I felt physically sick. And still, I said not one word." Her fingers intertwined together pressing on her chest. 

Everybody is quiet now, captivated by Ah Ling's story. Noticing the deafening silence, Auntie Sin starts breaking the lemongrass with the cleaver. Bang. Bang. Bang. Bang.

"How did you find out?" All eyes are on me now.

"I mean…how did you find out?"

To be continued.

#adayinthejungle #whatislove #cheating #loverat