Starting with a...shhh

Him: "Have you made it out of your box yet?"

Me: "😆😆 what do you think? Of course not!"

Him: "..."

Me: "Nah. Don't really want to. I LOVE my box."

Spending the fourth day in a row in the apartment building without stepping out feels like self-imposed hotel quarantine during the time of COVID-19 except it is voluntary. It bothers some immensely and for some being cut off strips away the gratifications the city offers and goes back to the bare bone of living. It is like kicking a drug habit, it takes all physical and mental power but is essential, like having thousands of ants eating you away and you cannot breathe at first then slowly without the glitz and the sprinkles, it gives you clarity.

Living in a foreign country and keeping a small circle of friends are the legitimate reasons to stay at home during the supposedly most sociable season of the year ALONE.

It is by choice - when one is at the stage of life where there is no need to please anyone or force oneself to conform just to keep others happy. So, there I was alone at home. I like to call it my Bubble, Him refers to it as the box, with good food and wine, in a self-made sanctuary.

My question to you is: would you do the same? Really. Would you? Now it is time for honesty.

But nowadays, even though you do not step out of the front door, you are not really cut off, are you? Internet and social media are at our fingertips. But I can guarantee you the quickest way to get depressed is by watching the news and scrolling aimlessly for hours on end. I know because I have done both.

To be truly honest, I did watch the news (how can you resist watching what is happening to Trump?) and read about others' perfect Christmas and fitness frenetics on what they eat in a day on reels. But when you put the phone down and mute the television, when silence and stillness surround you, you...think...well between watching Zulu and No Time to Die on television. Think about anything that the mind takes you. The meaning of life. The meaning of having salmon mousse wrapped in smoked salmon, followed by a turkey joint (it is always too dry). The (lack of) meaning of sending blanket Merry Christmas Whatsapp messages to everyone in the address book (and when you receive them, you know the sender doesn't mean it for you PERSONALLY as a friend, as it says, Hi my friend, Merry Christmas). Then the lightbulb moment came.

How about start writing?

Just to clear my mind. Right? If nothing else.

How about starting writing, again?

Going back to my first love. Knocking on her door asking for forgiveness for abandoning her for so long, turning my back on her, giving all kinds of excuses, lame excuses too, wasting so much time running away, running in a big circle just to get back to where it all started. Time wasted. So has life.

She welcomes me back with open arms and I feel at home, like once trapped dolphins breaking out of the aquarium and back to the ocean, as natural and a matter of fact as it can be, like an eagle spreading her wings again, stretching her limits to dash to the open sky.

This is my very own version of prison break.

Drawing strength from silence and nothingness, I started looking for the domain name at once. Surprisingly, adayinthejungle.com was still available. How can it be? To me, that is such an intriguing name - I believe in destiny and I believe this is destined to be mine. The universe has conspired to help me. I grabbed it with both hands. Paid without hesitation. So easy, so convenient - the magic of technology. Now the no-frills platform is born - in a matter of minutes.

This time I promise her it is for real. I am back. I am here to stay. I am giving her all.

January is a good month to launch a new project - said the Feng Shui Master a year ago. I paid no attention. Of course, I did not, there was no reason to. A project? Probably referring to something at work - not something to set my pants on fire I am afraid. Now reading the handwritten notes I made a year ago again; everything has become clear. Writing is my project.

Wherever writing is going to take me, I am sure, it will be exciting. Doing what you love always is.

And I am a firm believer that people ruin dreams and plans. If you have a precious plan, don't say a word, don't tell anyone and do it quietly, diligently and wholeheartedly. Do it, achieve it, complete it and people will take notice.

Therefore, this is my belief and approach - starting with a shhh instead of a bang.

Shhh.

Don't jinx it.

Don't ruin it.